Preckers? Cratzels?

No, I'm not drunk and talking gibberish. I'm not petitioning for Miriam-Webster to add some new words to the 2011 dictionary. I'm simply trying to figure out what to call these tasty little morsels that I have recently acquired an undying hunger for:

They are the new endeavour that has been undertaken by those mischievous Keebler Elves. And I, for one, applaud their tiny little efforts. Keebler is calling them "Pretzel Crackers". Yeah...real original. I particularly like my names better. Oh well.

They come in 3 flavors: Original (as pictured), Cheddar, and Garlic & Herb. I started out with the Original flavor, because that was all they had in the beginning. And, boy, were they scrumptious. The butteriness of a cracker, the saltiness and crunch of a pretzel. It's the best of both worlds. Then those little Elf bastards went and added flavor to these handheld pieces of heaven.

The only experience I have had with the Cheddar flavor was one cracker out of a box that had sat open for several days. Needless to say, it was uber stale and tainted my opinion of that particular flavor. For now, Cheddar = No Bueno. My loyalty lies in the Garlic & Herb variety. I might punch my grandma for a box of Garlic & Herb Pretzel Crackers. Sorry, Gram. They're just that good. And, it's a free box. FREE. Besides, bruises heal. Right? Anyway, back on topic...it's a "cratzel" with just a hint of garlic & herb flavoring built right in. When I say "just a hint", I mean just about that. It's not overwhelming. It's fairly subtle, yet enough to let you know it's there. "Hello, tastebuds. It's me, Delicious. Thanks for having me."

Now, these guys are awesome as a stand-alone treat. I could eat them by the boxful, although I know I shouldn't. You can also top them with various things. My two favorite toppers are some mild salsa and bologna salad, individually, of course. Just plain good. I haven't tried a hamburger dill as a tophat, but I can only imagine that it would be unspeakably delightful. If you have a tiny triangle of white cheese and a Barbie dreamhouse tomato, you could top it with those, as suggested by the front of the box. Yeah...those don't look at all photoshopped onto that cracker.

If you are bebopping down the Cracker/Cookie aisle of your favorite local grocer, snag yourself a box of these yummers. I can assure you that you won't be disappointed. And if you are, then you need to get new tastebuds, because the ones that you are currently using are obviously broken.

**EDITOR'S NOTE: I do not condone "grandma punching", nor would I ever partake of such a sport. The usage of "grandma punching" in the aforementioned story is only to paint a mental image for the reader, and contains no deeper meaning than such.