First off, I want you to know that I do feel just the slightest bit creepy for looking at your backside. Please don't let the mustache fool you...I'm not an "offender".
I can very much appreciate the fact that you wore your nicest (or cleanest) pair of extra, extra small panties to the Nickelback concert. After all, the chances of you picking up a hot, young stud tonight are higher than normal for a Wednesday night in Hampton, VA. So, good on you for coming prepared.
But, please...for the love of all things holy, tuck in your flipping tag! No one cares what size Hanes you wear. Good Lord! I know that it has to be driving you nuts because it's driving ME nuts just looking at it. If my shirt tag is sticking up, I can feel it and I tuck it back in. Problem solved. But, g-string tags are a little different. Especially since there is more fabric on the tag itself than there is on the entire pair of panties. That thing should've been ripped off before those babies ever even left the hanger. If you're going to "whale tail", you must do it properly. Leaving your sizing tag sticking out for all the world to see is not considered "proper". Go home, put your granny panties and sweat pants on until you have figured it out and then try again.
It's taking everything I can not to reach over and fix it for you. Well, not "everything". That security guy standing in front of you is pretty much my voice of reason. And I don't think I can take him when he sees me lean forward and place my fingers near the back of your britches and decides to leap frog the metal barrier at me. So, I'll just leave you to looking like a fool. Good luck with the rest of your night.
Sincerely,
Punch Dancer
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