The Past 168 Hours

To my faithful followers who diligently frequent my page daily in hopes of the tiniest scraps of leftover wit, I apologize. I have not been showing you the attention that you so deservingly...deserve. You see, rather than just load this page with fluff in order to fill a daily quota of bloggings, I must wait for the appropriate instance to occur; something funny overheard, a random question; a nugget of wisdom, etc, etc. Sometimes these things happen within 12-24 hours of one another. Sometimes, it takes a little longer. And even still, sometimes I get a little behind and decide to do a big recap of things that should've been blogged about, but weren't. This is one of those blogs. So, grab yourself a drink, pull up a chair

In the past 168 hours, I...

* GOT A LIBRARY CARD - Yep...I got me a library card. I don't think that I have owned a library card in at least 10 years. Hell, I didn't even know that they still existed. With the Kindles and the internets and the iPods, I figured that libraries had gone the way of the dinosaurs. Much to my surprise, there is a library about 2 miles from my house. And it's a nice one, too. Now I have to find a book to read. I don't even know where to start. The last books I remember reading were Goosebumps and Judy Blume.

* RAN 5.5 MILES...ON THE BEACH - I ran 3.5 of those miles on my own accord. Well...not my OWN accord. I kind of had to run with my trainer. But, it was the same distance that the rest of the group ran. The other 2 miles were out of the kindness of my heart. Somewhere along the run, my trainer decided to drop her car key. But, she didn't realize it until around mile 2 of 3.5 (we ran 1.25 down, then 1.25 back). I ended up running the extra 2 miles back and forth along the beach, trying to find every place that we stopped at to do additional calisthenics. Remember...this is on the beach. Running on pavement sucks. Running on sand sucks even worse. Trying to find a single car key in the sand while running on the sand sucks to the 10th degree. I have never looked for a needle in a haystack, but I assume this is close to it. In the end, I found the key. The day was saved and we all celebrated our intense workout with a beer at the beach bar. Wait...what?

* TORE SOME SHIT UP - Who doesn't like tearing some shit up? Seriously. Everyone has some anger deep down inside (some more than others) that we just have to get out. And when you have to get out your anger, and cannot punch dance in the woods, you must do the next best thing...tear some shit up. I had to remove the old gate on the back fence, so that the new one can go up. There were 2 fence posts side-by-side cemented in the ground. Yeah...I wasn't getting this thing out of the ground myself. I needed some 4x4 assistance. So, I tied the tow-strap around the posts, then to the rear bumper of the X. Then, raw power ripped that thing clean out of the ground and across the front yard. However, my anger had not been quelled. I needed more. I took out my frustrations on the 2 Azalea bushes in the flower bed. Those things suck. Ugly as sin for 363 days of the year, tear-inducing beauty in the 2 days that they DO bloom. No thanks. Don't worry, I'll be replacing them. Now...what else is there for me to tear up?

* SAW SOME CAMELS -  No, I didn't go to the carnival, or the circus, or Saudi Arabia over the course of the last 168 hours. These were domesticated camels. I was driving down some road and saw a big pasture with all kinds of horses in it. So, I turned around and came back to see them again. There were a lot of horses, so I had to see them again. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that some of these horses were a little...taller than the others. No, not taller. These horses have tumors on their backs. Poor horses. No, they  Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera that day. So, I had to somehow find my way back to this place on another day, so that I could get some photographic evidence of these camels. Fast forward to yesterday. I found the place. The camels were still there, all 4 of them. While taking pictures, I noticed something a little strange. I know, right.What's stranger than camels in a pasture with horses? Nothing. Nothing except for...more horses...white horses...white horses with black stripes. Yes, not only did this person have a herd of camels (do camels travel in herds?), but they also had some zebras. I don't know if this is the training location for the county fair, or this person is a camel/zebra breeder/dealer. But, I do know that it was pretty damn awesome.

* GOT PHONE ENVY - I am one of the biggest advocates against the whole iPhone pandemic that we have become so obsessed with as a society. I have a phone. It does what a phone should do. It makes phone calls. It receives phone calls. Phone things. It doesn't play music. It doesn't get internet. It doesn't give me turn-by-turn directions. It doesn't make me a double frappe latte mochachino. It does what a phone should do. At least...it DID. I found out that my plan was to expire in May, and I could either upgrade to a new phone/plan, I could keep my current phone and just renew my current plan, or I could switch carriers altogether and get something new. I opted for the first option. And, for some unknown reason, I decided that I didn't want society to get too far ahead of me. I refuse to support Apple and their iPod brand, simply because I don't like them. I think the iPhone is a great tool. And if someone else made it, I would most certainly get it. But, they do not. So, I went with the Android platform, powered by Google. I upgraded my old, outdated Motorola Razr for a new, sleek, sexy Samsung Behold II with touch-screen. I have to admit, it IS pretty damn cool. It's got a lot of nice features and it actually might come in handy for whenever I am out and about and absolutely MUST know who is leading the World Hackey Sack Championship, or where the closest Norwegian buffet is. We shall soon find out.

* ATE SOME PICKLES - Damn right, I ate me some pickles. That's just an obvious one, though. In fact, as I sit here writing this, I am munching on a big, fat whole dill. It's mighty tasty.

Needless to say, I've been kind of busy lately. Granted, I could've written blog posts about each of these occurances individually. But, it actually looks pretty cool when doing it as a big collaboration of items. I'm not sure if this is going to become a thing or not. I'm still going to blog when something blogworthy happens. But, if those happenings are spread out, as was the case this past week, then I might try this again. We'll see.