Mr. Gorbachev, Tear Down This...Fence?

So...THIS is what my back fence looked like earlier this afternoon. It had been slowly coming down over the past year or so and rather than man-up and fix it, I just kept rigging it to keep it semi-upright. In the above photo, you will notice a large fence post (NOT in the ground where it belongs, a baby gate, a wimpy-ass bush, and part(s) of a broken rake. Also, somewhere in that mess, is a push broom, 3 large tree branches, and the handle to a shovel. Real top-notch craftsmanship.Bob Villa would be so proud.

I have decided to bite the bullet and use some of my hard earned tax money and pay for a new back fence. I was tired of the neighbors behind me laughing every time they went out on their back porch to smoke/drink. Plus, our skinny dog, Mackie, found every vulnerable spot that this monstrosity had to offer and had gotten out of the yard one too many times. So, it was time to take care of the fence.

In order for the fence guy to give me the best price, I had to remove the shitty fence myself and leave him with a blank canvas to work with. Hey...if it saves me $150, then I am down for it. How hard could it be to remove a few fence panels...right?

First, I had to assess the situation. Yep...it's a jacked-up fence. Had to move all my rigging equipment out of the way to get the fence first, though.

Who doesn't like chopping shit down with a machete? I know I do. Takes a little longer when said machete is rusty and dull. But, still...

Crap out of the way, the first 2 panels come crashing down. Man...this is going to be cake!

Big Mike from across the street comes over to lend a helping hand. Halfway done knocking down the panels.

Fence is completely down. Looking better already. Now, just have to disassemble the panels and take them out to the front curb.

This was one of the hardest parts of this whole endeavor. The cemented cinder blocks that had given way were unusable, so I had to chuck 'em. This piece here had to weigh AT LEAST 120 pounds. I am a big guy, but, as you have read in the previous post, I am not in the best of shape. So, this piece of work here gave me a run for my money.

Finally, got that beast in the wheelbarrow. Big Mike...just watching me be all Strong Man. I felt like my name should be Magnus or Helmut.

And then the whole thing dumped over. THIS is why my name is not Magnus or Helmut.

At the end of the night, after about 3 total hours of work, this is what we are left with. Fence is down, save for a couple of possibly usable posts. I had to break down all the panels to manageable sizes, so that the refuse guys can come and take them off the curb. All-in-all, it looks pretty good. Megan and Mackey are on their dog chains and will be alright until the fence guy comes later in the week. Now...time to sit back and enjoy a hard earned Bud Light. I think my diet can handle just one.